I'm pregnaaaaaant!!!!


Me at 4 weeks (for future comparison purposes!)

I'm with child.

There is a tiny bun in my oven.

I'm PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's what happened less than a week ago, on the morning of Monday, January 16:

I had ordered a set of five pg tests from babyhopes.com (way cheaper than the store). Since I had plenty of 'em, I decided I would test this morning, even though my period's not due til the 20th. So I wake up this morning, go potty, and test. I watch it like a hawk and within about a minute I see that there's only a purple line in the control window but the test window is blank. I'm not surprised. But I keep watching it....and within about one more minute, I see a faint line in the test window! It gets a tiny bit darker - is still pretty light - but is unmistakably THERE! I blink about a thousand times but it's still there! My eyes start watering and I whisper to myself, "I'm pregnant." Thank heavens Scotty's home today cuz it's a bank holiday!!! I go into the loft where he's on his computer and stand next to him but say nothing. He looks up at me and says, "What?" I say, very matter-of-factly, "I'm pregnant." He gets a big smile on his face, stands up and puts his arms around me and says, "Are you serious?" I say, "Yep!" He says, "Wow, it only took us two tries!"

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....Well, it's been six days since that blessed event, and I still can't believe it. I am PREGNANT. After six years of frequent discussions about how we thought maybe we would avoid having children, we succumbed. A few months ago, I picked Scotty up from work on his lunch hour and we went to Red Robin for lunch. Our conversation turned yet again to the topic of children. Babies. Being parents. And everything - yes, everything - that goes along with it. It was during that very meal that we decided that YES, we would try for a baby. ONE baby. And because my cycle is kinda goofy and unpredictable and because I have anxiety disorder and a rather "colorful" health history, we came to the mutual agreement that it might take us awhile to conceive, IF we could conceive at all. We wouldn't hold our breath. But we would try, and we would leave it in God's hands.

Who knew that God's hands would create a teeny-tiny beginnings-of-a-baby after just two months of trying?! Oh! Let me back up just a couple weeks at this point so I can share our mildly-amusing conception story. (If it's TMI, then please feel free to scroll on down!) Man, ya gotta love blogs.

January 3, 2006

11:00 pm - Wendy goes potty and decides, 'Eh, what the hay...I'll do an ovulation test.' Wendy doesn't feel like waiting for the results so she sets the test on her nightstand and figures she'll check it in the morning, since it's probably gonna be negative anyway.

11:02 pm - Wendy and Scott go to bed.

11:30 pm - Wendy's still tossing and turning...tossing and turning...wide awake....

11:45 pm - Wendy takes her earplugs out and listens to Scotty snoring like a grizzly bear.

11:55 pm - Wendy gets tired of laying there awake and gets outta bed. Scotty looks at her all confused-like and she tells him she can't sleep so she's gonna get up for awhile. She grabs the test off the nightstand and goes into the loft. She doesn't turn a light on, but by the light of her computer screen she can see that both lines on the test are very dark.

11:57 pm - Wendy freaks out a little. Scotty's probably back asleep already. Should she wake him up or not? Wendy tries to IM Brenda and gets impatient. She decides to wake him up.

11:59 pm - Wendy walks down the hallway toward the bedroom. Before she gets there, Scotty opens the bedroom door in his robe and looks at her all confused-like again. She says, "Hub, I'm ovulating." He says, "How do you know?" She says, "I took a test an hour ago and it has two dark lines on it." He says, "Oh man. I'm so tired." She says, "So am I. I so don't feel like doing it right now."

12:00 am - At the stroke of midnight, the deed gets done - begrudgingly, but quickly.

12:03 am to 12:20 am - (Yes, it was fast.) Wendy lays on the bed like a dork with many pillows under her butt and her feet up on the wall.

....I bet not too many women can pinpoint the exact date of conception. I'm freaky that way.

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So that's that.

As of the writing of this entry, I am almost 5 weeks along. It's SO early, and I wonder if I should even be keeping this blog. Anything could happen. I'm rather terrified of that fact. But every single day, several times a day, I bring my request to God to please, please protect this tiny being that He has created and to bring it to full-term, and to please keep the baby and me very healthy throughout every second of the pregnancy. I know He hears me. My family's praying this for us too. I have a good feeling about it. And His peace really is beyond all understanding.

So with that said, I shall now get down to the nitty-gritty. I'm gonna make two lists - one that describes the emotional things I've been feeling this week, and one that describes the physical things.

EMOTIONAL:

1) UTTER amazement. The whole concept of two people making another person has always been amazing to me, but now that we are the two people who made another person it is nothing short of unbelievable. God is using US to create a new little person! WOAH!!!!! I've been doing a lot of reading about exactly what happens - how the sperm compete to plug into the egg, how the timing of ovulation is so precise, how the cells divide and then burrow into the uterine lining.... The mind of God is completely and totally AWESOME. He designed us so that our bodies would know exactly what to do and when to do it, in order to produce and grow a baby. Mind-boggling. And I praise Him with my whole heart for allowing me to experience this.

2) Weird LOVE. Right this very moment, our baby is so small that two of him or her could fit into the period at the end of this sentence (but it has the beginnings of a SPINE already!). How can I already feel so much love for and protection of this microscopic being?! I do! I do totally do! Yesterday I was walking out of the grocery store and it was cold and just starting to snow. I pulled my coat tight around my lower belly and kept my hand there til I was in the car. As IF that did any good - LOL! I guess it was this really early version of motherly instinct kicking in or something.

3) Fear. SO much fear. Like I mentioned earlier, I'm terrified of possible miscarriage. Mom had some, Steph had one. But I really don't think it's gonna happen.

4) JOY and excitement!!! Just think - me, a mommy. ME! God did not have me ready til now. Not so long ago, the thought of being a mommy was not an attractive one in my mind. It meant stress and annoyance and inconvenience and misery. But now - especially now that I'm pregnant - I see it as exciting and precious and so, so special. And personal. This child will be one of a kind, with parts of Scott and parts of me (hopefully lots of parts of Scott - we'd love a boy)! Our lives will revolve around this tiny person. And I can't wait!!

5) Dreams. Now, I am known for having VERY bizarre dreams on a VERY regular basis anyway. But pregnancy dreams, so they say, are usually about as bizarre as you can get. I have had some extremely over-the-top ones the last few nights but can't remember the specifics anymore. However, one very brief, very vivid dream that will stick in my head during this whole nine months is one that I had yesterday afternoon during a nap: All it was was a brief, bright (almost sparkling) image of a widely-smiling, beautiful perfect little baby boy.

PHYSICAL:

I haven't experienced many physical changes yet, but the ones I have have been interesting and fascinating!

1) Mild nausea. It comes and goes...in waves. I keep Saltines very close at all times (I even keep some in my car) and they seem to help. I eat one first thing after I wake up in the morning, before I even get out of bed. I also have those things called Sea Bands that you wear around both wrists. They have little balls that press into the inner part of your wrist and having pressure there is supposed to ease nausea. They're made to prevent motion sickness but I've heard that they help in morning sickness too....so we shall see.

2) Cravings. So far, my only craving has been very cold skim milk. Yesterday I had two big glasses with lunch and another glass and a half with dinner. I am curious to see what other cravings will develop. I know my friend Devon craved milk like crazy, too. My friend Rachel craved chips and salsa from one specific restaurant! My mom ate fresh carrots like they were goin' outta style. Pregnancy cravings amuse me.

3) Tingly nippies. Just a few days after conception, my nippies tingled so much that I scratched them to the point of drawing blood! I decided to forego the bra and had to put Bandaids on them so that I wouldn't get blood on my shirt. I'm a bright one.

4) Sore boobies. They weren't all that sore until two days ago. When I trot down our 15-step staircase, they hurt!!

5) Extra-sensitive gums. While I was having my teeth cleaned the other day at the dentist, my gums hurt something AWFUL when she was squirting them with water.

And now, as I close this very long entry (I promise they won't all be this long. I had to catch up on the last six days!), I must mention that last night I finished the book "Belly Laughs" by Jenny McCarthy. Not a good book to read at this point. Though I was absorbed in it and found it entertaining, this woman had a TERRIBLE, AWFUL, NO-GOOD, VERY BAD pregnancy. I keep repeating to myself, "Every pregnancy is different. Every pregnancy is different...." This chick had every symptom in the book, to the utmost degree. If I had read that book before finding out about my pregnancy, I would seriously probably have reconsidered. Some people tend to be overly dramatic, and sensationalize things for dramatic effect. I am thinking that's what this poor Jenny did for this book. I know many, many women who have been pregnant and none of their pregnancies were anywhere NEAR what hers was. I'm surprised she survived.

And with that I will end this entry. Finally, eh?

*Wenzee shuffles off to brush her sensitive gums and read her Pregnancy Journal page for today